


I Don’t Get Mad, I Get Even

by SilverMoon53



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Basically he pissed off Pidge and is waiting for her revenge, Don't Mess With Pidge, Gen, I wrote this in one sitting instead of doing homework, It's really funny - Freeform, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance makes a fool of himself, Pidge can and will hack everyone and everything, Pidge | Katie Holt-centric, also kinda - Freeform, for real, seriously don't mess with her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-11-01 06:29:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10916232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverMoon53/pseuds/SilverMoon53
Summary: While joking with the team, Lance crosses a line and breaks the Number 1 rule: Don’t mess with Pidge. But it’s okay. Pidge doesn’t get mad.





	I Don’t Get Mad, I Get Even

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a couple headcanons of mine. Mostly that Pidge can and will hack into anything and that she holds a wicked grudge.

Silence. 

Complete, utter, _horrified_ silence met Lance’s words. The paladins’ laugher dried up in an instant as Lance’s lighthearted teasing of the group accidentally crossed a line. Slowly, everyone turned to face Pidge to see how she would react. 

The youngest paladin’s face was frighteningly neutral, her head tilted ever-so-slightly to one side as she studied Lance. He shriveled under her gaze, half formed apologies dribbling from his mouth as he tried to take back his mistake. After a few tense seconds, Pidge stood. She offered a smile at Lance but said nothing as she turned and walked out of the room. 

“I’m doomed, aren’t I?” Lance asked in the silence that followed Pidge’s departure. No one hesitated to agree and Lance deflated. 

***

She skipped lunch that day, which wasn’t odd in and of itself. Pidge would often miss meals, either because she was wrapped up in a project or because she just needed some time alone. What _was_ odd was that the door to her room was locked when Lance brought her a tray of food as a peace offering. She didn’t answer when he knocked, though he could hear her tinkering around inside, so he put the tray down in hopes that she would open up when he left. He made sure that his apology note would be seen as soon as she opened the door and left. 

***

The wait for dinner was hell. Lance jumped at every creak, every moan of the castle, sure it was Pidge. He ended up locking himself in his room until it was time to eat. Even then, he made Hunk walk him to the dining area so Pidge wouldn’t attack. 

Pidge may be ruthless in her revenge, but the one thing she never did was hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it. Lance figured that all he had to do was wait out her anger either out of her reach, or hiding behind Hunk. Luckily, his place at the table had Keith separating him from Pidge, so he thought he would be safe. 

When he didn’t show up right away, Lance started to feel guilty. No one had seen her since the morning when she walked out on the group without a word, and it wasn’t like her to skip lunch and dinner in the same day. He withered slightly under Shiro’s gaze, though he did feel bad that he had upset Pidge. The tease wasn’t meant to be malicious, but Lance had a hard time finding the line until after he crossed it. 

He was pulled from his self pity when Hunk nudged him. Looking up, he saw Pidge walking in with a smile on her face. It was a genuine smile, not the creepy, threatening one he had last seen on her, and Lance took this as a good sign. 

“Sorry I’m late, guys,” she said cheerily as she scraped the lunch tray into the disposal. “Lost track of time again. Thanks for lunch, by the way, Lance. Didn’t hear you out there though, so I didn’t eat it.” Everyone stared, dumbfounded, as Pidge plopped herself in her seat and started piling food on her plate. “Man, I’m _starved_ ,” she continued, as though unaware of the tension in the room. “Food looks great, Hunk.” 

Slowly, everyone got over the strange change in behavior. Chatter returned to the table, though Lance was more subdued than normal. He kept half an eye on Pidge, expecting her to extract her revenge any second. Finally, at the end of the meal when everyone was cleaning up, he burst.

“If you’re going to do something, just do it! The wait is killing me!”

Pidge turned to him, a single eyebrow raised in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“First you storm out on us, then you avoid me all day, and now you’re acting like nothing’s wrong? Aren’t you mad at me?” 

“Mad? Why would I be mad?” she asked, cocking one eyebrow. 

“Umm, I don’t know? You just seemed really mad when I said-”

“Oh, that?” Pidge cut him off with a dismissive wave. “Yeah, you crossed a line there. Don’t do it again. But I’m not mad. I don’t get mad.” She smiled widely at him and opened her arms to offer a hug. Relieved, Lance accepted and scooped her up. Pidge nuzzled herself up close to his ear with a wicked grin. “I get _even_ ,” she hissed softly so only he heard. Lance froze in horror and let Pidge squirm her way out of his arms. 

“Whelp, I’m going to head to my room. I’ve got this really cool idea I want to work on. See you all in the morning!” Pidge offered a wave and a wink at Lance before she bolted down the corridor to the dorms. Lance, still frozen, jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

“She tell you she gets even?” Shiro asked, looking down at his friend. 

“Uh huh,” Lance choked out.

“You’re doomed.”

“How doomed?”

“If I were you, and we weren’t the only thing standing in the way of an evil overlord taking over the entire universe, I would run.” Shiro paused for a moment, contemplating. “Even then.” He gave the teen a few pats on the shoulder before taking his leave.

***

It was Day Four and Lance was beginning to relax. Day Two had been spent being terrifyingly nice to Lance, which just made Hunk and Keith chuckle and Shiro roll his eyes, while Day 3 she had been back to her old sarcastic self. Pidge had been late for a few meals and had more coffee than someone her size should ever ingest, but that was all normal for her when she was working on a new project. 

Anytime someone asked her what the project was, she either waved them off and changed the subject, or offered a cryptic, “You’ll see.” When asked when it would be ready, her smile grew. “You’ll know,” was all she would say on that. 

This wasn’t the first time she responded to such question with non-answers. She liked to be secretive with her projects, only divulging details if it ran the risk of shutting the ship down (“It was _one time,_ Shiro, cut me some slack!”) or something equally large-scale (“It’s not like anyone was _actually in_ the healing pods, and I was just trying to boost their efficiency!”) . 

So when the evening of Day Four rolled around, and Pidge was acting like her old self and no revenge had been had, Lance started to think she had given up. Hunk was inclined to agree with him, though mostly so he could stop being a human shield. Shiro and Keith remained unconvinced. Shiro because Matt had told him lots about his little sister and her revenge schemes in the months they spent together on the spaceship, and Keith because he had been the last target of Pidge’s ire and he wanted to see what she cooked up for Lance.

(Keith may have picked on Pidge’s height one too many times, implying that she was weak and would need protection in a fight. She had taken two days to hack into the training deck before chasing him around the invisible maze with one of the training gladiators. It ended with his ass getting soundly thrashed and Pidge offering him a hand to get back up.)

Pidge herself gave no indication of revenge plans or a grudge held against Lance. The only noticeable difference in her behavior on the fifth day after it began was she seemed eager to do some group training with the lions. Lance dismissed this readily enough, figuring that her project involved Green somehow and she was just looking for a chance to show off. Still, the way her eyes lit up when Shiro told them all to get suited up gave him chills. 

***

It started small. The paladins had reconvened in the helm of the ship, fully suited. Pidge had offered Lance a smile and told him, “Watch your step, floor’s uneven. We wouldn’t want you to trip.” A few seconds later, his toes caught on seemingly nothing and he fell flat on his face. Shiro told him to stop goofing around and to get in his lion. 

Lance wrote it off as a coincidence and rubbed his nose where he smacked it on the floor. 

Training did not go well for Lance. His limbs seemed to move on their own, and Pidge kept nattering in his ear about random things. 

“Yeah, hang on just a second, Pidge,” Lance grumbled, cutting her off from a story about the time she and her brother went swimming and had a diving contest as he struggled to pull Blue of a sudden nosedive. 

“Lance, quit joking around,” Shiro said irritably. “We’re supposed to be flying in formation.”

“I’m trying, man! It’s like I have no control here!” 

“Are you sure he’s joking?” Keith smirked. “His flying looks the same to me.” 

“Knock it off, you two. And Pidge, when did you get so talkative? It’s great that you used to love gymnastics, but now’s not the time to- woah!” Shiro cut himself off as he swerved to avoid the blue lion as it somersaulted past him. “Lance!”

“It’s not me, I swear!” 

“Then what-” Suddenly, Shiro let out a tired sigh. “I think I know what’s going on. Pack it in, people, we’re done for now. And Pidge, I’m turning your coms off.” 

“What? Why? I’m not doing any-”

There were no more incidents as the paladins made their way back to the castle. Once they were all inside, bickering broke out. Mostly it was Keith and Lance blaming each other while Hunk rolled his eyes and Pidge chuckled. Shiro shot her a pointed glare and she returned it with her most innocent, wide-eyed, I-have-no-idea-what-you’re-talking-about look before running off to catch up with the others.

“Hey, Lance, wait up a tick!” He paused mid step and turned to face her. 

“Yeah, Pidge?”

“I’m _tired_ ,” she whined, although her wide grin told otherwise. “Carry me?” 

“Why would I-? What the quiznack!” Without meaning to, Lance had scooped the small girl up and placed her on his back. 

“Now,” Pidge said, her smile giving way to a maniacal grin, “Giddy-up!” Lance took off, prancing down the hallway with Pidge laughing gleefully on his back. He stopped when they reached the helm, where Pidge let herself down to wait for the others. 

“What is happening?” Lance demanded. 

“Sit-stay,” was all Pidge told him, which he immediately did. 

“What are you doing?”

“Me?” Pidge rounded on him, a look of mock indignation on her face. “Why, I’m hurt you would suggest such a thing! I’m not doing anything!” She turned away with a huff, casting a glance down the hall to see the rest of the team catching up to them. “In fact, I’m not the one doing anything at all, you are. Why are you hitting yourself, Lance? Stop hitting yourself.”

“I’m not- ow! What the- ow! Ow, ow, ow! Stop it, Pidge!” Lance managed to cry out as his arms lay down an attack on him. They weren’t hitting hard, but it was frightening and slightly painful. 

“Stop hitting yourself, stop hitting yourself,” Pidge crowed, rolling around with tears of laughter falling down her face. The other caught up and stared, confused. After a few seconds, Keith joined Pidge in her laughter, while Shiro ran a tired hand along his face. Hunk started freaking out, trying to figure out what was wrong.

Finally, Pidge’s roaring slowed to chuckles, the giggles and she could sit up again. Lance’s arms continued attacking him until Shiro sighed pointedly.

“That’s enough, Pidge, I think he learned his lesson.” 

“What lesson?” Hunk asked, wringing his hands anxiously. “What’s going on?”

“Naw, he’s got a thick skull,” Keith snickered. “Keep going for a bit.” 

“Would someone - ow - tell me - ouch! - what the quiznack - owwww - is going on?” 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Shiro, not you Keith,” Pidge shrugged. “Although…”

“Pidge.”

“Fine, fine. I was just joking. Lance, cut it out.”

At once, Lance felt control of his arms again. He let out a cry of relief as Pidge pulled something up on her suit’s screen and tapped some buttons. 

“There,” she said, shutting the program down with a grin. “All fixed.” Still smiling, she walked over to Lance and offered him a hand up.”You feeling alright there?” 

“Yeah, I guess. But can someone explain what the quiznack just happened?” 

“Remember how I said I don’t get mad?” Pidge said as she helped pull Lance to his feet. “That I get even instead?”

“Yeah,” Lance felt a shiver go down his spine at the memory, “but what’s that got to do with… Ooohhh. That was you!” 

“Guilty,” she admitted, though her face held no shame. 

“You hacked my suit! I didn’t even know you could do that!”

“It was easy, really. There was a pretty obvious flaw in the suit’s security system, all I had to do was get around a few obstacles and it was easy. And yes, Shiro, before you ask. I did close it up for all of us and added some extra measures. The suits can’t be hacked again.” She smiled at the leader, proud that she had gotten revenge and helped the team in the same swoop. 

“So, does that mean we’re even again?” Lance asked tentatively. Pidge smiled at him.

“Totally.” Her eyes narrowed. “As long as you keep your trap shut.”

“Hey,” Lance said, holding his hands up defensively. “I make no promises.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I got the idea of Pidge hacking into someone’s suit and making them hit themselves in a typical “why are you hitting yourself” fashion. It had to be done.


End file.
